I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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