I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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