I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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