I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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