So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
