No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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