when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
