you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
