Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
