I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
