I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
