thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
