Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
