Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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