Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
