Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
