Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
either way he was missing a nipple.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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