i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
