like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
