i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
