Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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