We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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