absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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