im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
