Need sex. Gaining weight.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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