Heybabeimwearingurpanties
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize