Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
