After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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