Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think my fart just growled at me.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
