yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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