While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
