chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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