Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
