Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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