chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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