Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
ugly people sure do ruin things
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
