Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
