I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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