great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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