i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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