I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize