and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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