Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
