Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Michael Bay diarrhea
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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