So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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