What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
