Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I need moral support for this bender
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
