I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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