Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
