That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
