If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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