That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize