Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
