shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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