well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize