Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
