It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm like, not good at living.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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