we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
