Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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