i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
