I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
