did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize