She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
