I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
