sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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